[He's a simple businessman. Friend to all. A man of the people. But he wields giant knives, wicked ones, and throws bombs with no hesitation.]
[If he had a reason to.....]
[Well, he won't think about that. He was more hot-headed in his youth. Not anymore. He was horrified at himself, too.]
[Then again.]
[He can think of one reason that he would've been willing to kill. Siffrin mentions it, themself.]
...Me, I can understand. Elysium? Ha. I'm glad you didn't kill him. That would've been a problem for you. And all of us. [A beat.] You wouldn't know about how to dispose of his body correctly, right?
[A little smile, cold, with that, before it eases into something softer.]
But nah, pal. I never hated you. Elysium? I wouldn't speak for him. But the fact was, he encouraged me to talk to you, so...if I had to make a guess, I don't think he hated you, either.
Hahaha. Oh, it would be nice if it were as simple as throwing ashes off a mountain.
[Should he say it? He tilts his head to the side, considering. Elysium isn't here. Will he be back? If he comes back, would he be mad, about sharing something like this?]
...Did he talk to you about his. Um. Affliction, so to speak?
That's Elysium for you. He knew everyone, not everyone knew him.
[He smiles, tilting the glass this way and that, watching the liquid slide back and forth.]
Okay. Sure. But you have to promise. It stays between me and you, right? Else Sampo won't be very happy to hear it coming from someone else. Might give him a reason, so to speak. Okay?
[That's sad. That's very sad. It's all a sad, sad affair. A god in the cosmos would want them to laugh and be merry. It's hard to do that right now, O Elation.]
Alright. So! Where do I start. Where Elysium comes from, there's a weird sort of rock. A substance, maybe. Originium. It looks like a bunch of black crystals, at its pure. And this substance, it doesn't just sit pretty like most rocks. Why, it can infect people.
[He has to take a good sip from his wine, hold on. Okay, continuing.]
On the upside, being infected may give you wonderful abilities beyond your dreams. But on the downside...there's no cure. The infection can be delayed, but it can't be stopped. It's 100% terminal.
of how Elysium never changed in front of you. How he reacted to the near-bite experience you gave him. How he was always on the "sidelines", in his words, and the odd tinny noise he'd sent out. The aggravating way, to Gebura at least, he spoke and acted.
But you think of the moments where his strings had been cut, too. Where he'd resigned himself into the hands of another rather than dealing with it himself. The quiet times where he hadn't seemed so... playful, more like yourself. There was a lot in common, between you two.
Siffrin plays with his hat, resting on the ground as it is, and takes a small sip of the wine.
(Of course Elysium wouldn't have said anything to you. You would have tried to find a way to cure him anyway. Even if it was impossible, because...) ]
... The kind of flower doesn't matter. You give them to people who are... important to you, where I'm from. A land that doesn't exist anymore. [ A soft exhale. ] It's... one of the traditions I still remember, that differs from the one they practice in-- in...
[ They furrow their face, trying to remember, before exhaling again, sharply this time. ]
In Vaugarde. They give them to people they like. But... the only other person who knows that, is Gebura. I never... told Elysium. Because I thought he'd make fun of me.
[ And he would've. Siffrin knows that. But... especially after the past few months, Elysium disappearing without knowing what it meant to be given one...
[ Siffrin's eye glows as his hand raises out of habit, flipping through the small gallery of images he'd saved. The one he sends to Sampo is of a windowsill, where three things once sat: a somewhat misshapen paper crane, a black cat bearing a white face, socks, and hat all the same, and a similarly monochrome flower perched in a vase facing outside. ]
I'm a traveller, too, after all. So... he probably had some idea, even if, um. It wasn't exactly that. Maybe. Little things... matter, to us.
[ They'd decided to deal with Sampo on behalf of him, after all. They'd done their best to settle tempers and keep everyone in good spirits despite their dislike of the limelight and poor resolution skills. They'd helped to put together a cauldron born of Elysium's mind, even if no one would ever know. There's a lot that could tell that aggravating bird how much he meant to Siffrin, which is embarrassing anyway. ]
[Travelers attract travelers. The Trailblaze has its followers even in other universes, even if he knows Siffrin would have never heard the name of Akivili. Little things matter - of course they do. He knows it well. From the Trailblazer, from Elysium.]
You still are, aren't you. No matter how many friends you make... No matter how close you become to your family members... It isn't like it lasts. People go.
You can't follow.) ]
... I'm used to being alone. I spent most of my time traveling that way. It's still new to have companions, even if I traveled with my family members for a few months before being here.
[ It doesn't erase the decade Siffrin spent on their own, sometimes meeting others from their forgotten island and
what, running from them? The taste of a baked good spoiled because of it -- because it brings him back to that moment, unable to help someone, unable to help himself. ]
You helped. With him, I mean. I saw a lot of faces I wouldn't have, because of you. He wasn't so lonely.
[To be given some form of "normalcy", in the form of a companion. Someone to dance with him at the end of the world. Someone who would dispose of his body.]
[Was that a blessing, or a curse?]
...All I really was trying to do was make him happy. [A beat.] Same goes for all travelers like you. I mean, I guess...you all deserve to find some form of happiness on such a long journey.
[ One wonders indeed. He doesn't respond at first, playing with his glass of wine and taking small sips from it.
... One wonders, indeed. ]
... Do you think... someone who makes all of the right choices, and those choices end with someone else smiling... is happy themselves?
[ It seems
both pointed, and not, because Siffrin's merely thinking of his own experiences. Whether they align to Elysium or Sampo himself is none of his concern. ]
Um, the happiness. Nice... for a while, and pretty to see. You can do a lot with it too. Since it comes from water, it's pretty fluid too.
[ So that happiness can look like a different things to others, maybe even sturdy in its own way... like an igloo, and Siffrin struggles to put it into words as he tips the wine glass further back this time. ]
... No matter how solidly you pack it, or how everlasting it seems... it'll dirty, melt, and disappear. That kind of thing.
[Now his voice feels much more steady, his tone more serious than maybe he even means it to be.]
Happiness really isn't like that. Not true happiness, anyways. I think when people think happiness is fleeting, that's...not real elation, y'know? They say there's a god out there whose laugh rings alllllll around the universe. THEY'RE still laughing until the end of time, no matter the ups and downs of life.
[He shakes his head - maybe he's a little in denial, who knows? But no. He can't accept fleeting pleasure. He won't have the idea of something that can't last.]
Instead, Siffrin's smile widens and his eye closes. His tone remains light and soft, even while the thought of his manufactured happiness rots him from the inside. ]
I think you have a wonderful point of view, Sampo. As long as you think like that, you couldn't have made Elysium's life any worse, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[If he had a reason to.....]
[Well, he won't think about that. He was more hot-headed in his youth. Not anymore. He was horrified at himself, too.]
[Then again.]
[He can think of one reason that he would've been willing to kill. Siffrin mentions it, themself.]
...Me, I can understand. Elysium? Ha. I'm glad you didn't kill him. That would've been a problem for you. And all of us. [A beat.] You wouldn't know about how to dispose of his body correctly, right?
[A little smile, cold, with that, before it eases into something softer.]
But nah, pal. I never hated you. Elysium? I wouldn't speak for him. But the fact was, he encouraged me to talk to you, so...if I had to make a guess, I don't think he hated you, either.
[...]
What was the flower?
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What do you mean, dispose of his body correctly? Like throwing ashes off a mountain?
[ (Funeral rites...?) ]
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[Should he say it? He tilts his head to the side, considering. Elysium isn't here. Will he be back? If he comes back, would he be mad, about sharing something like this?]
...Did he talk to you about his. Um. Affliction, so to speak?
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[ Maybe they should have more. But there were things Elysium didn't ask after, and things Siffrin never broached. He plays with his cloak. ]
We weren't close.
[ Which is why it hurt so much to be betrayed, right? Stupid. ]
I'll trade secrets. What flower it was, for that.
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[He smiles, tilting the glass this way and that, watching the liquid slide back and forth.]
Okay. Sure. But you have to promise. It stays between me and you, right? Else Sampo won't be very happy to hear it coming from someone else. Might give him a reason, so to speak. Okay?
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[ So. Secret safe. Siffrin fiddles with their cloak again, before lifting their hand to their head and setting the hat aside.
Attention is his. Undivided, as it were, for the first time... really looking at him. ]
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[That's sad. That's very sad. It's all a sad, sad affair. A god in the cosmos would want them to laugh and be merry. It's hard to do that right now, O Elation.]
Alright. So! Where do I start. Where Elysium comes from, there's a weird sort of rock. A substance, maybe. Originium. It looks like a bunch of black crystals, at its pure. And this substance, it doesn't just sit pretty like most rocks. Why, it can infect people.
[He has to take a good sip from his wine, hold on. Okay, continuing.]
On the upside, being infected may give you wonderful abilities beyond your dreams. But on the downside...there's no cure. The infection can be delayed, but it can't be stopped. It's 100% terminal.
And our...dear, dear little bird. He's infected.
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of how Elysium never changed in front of you. How he reacted to the near-bite experience you gave him. How he was always on the "sidelines", in his words, and the odd tinny noise he'd sent out. The aggravating way, to Gebura at least, he spoke and acted.
But you think of the moments where his strings had been cut, too. Where he'd resigned himself into the hands of another rather than dealing with it himself. The quiet times where he hadn't seemed so... playful, more like yourself. There was a lot in common, between you two.
...
Your head hurts.) ]
You can't pick them off?
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[He's sinking his face into his hand for a moment, before he flips his bangs back, like he's trying so so very hard to keep his face in place.]
But that's not all. You see, Originium is infectious, deeply so, in the right circumstances. Death is one such circumstance.
[A quieter voice.]
He would be like a bomb.
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...
(You understand.)
Siffrin plays with his hat, resting on the ground as it is, and takes a small sip of the wine.
(Of course Elysium wouldn't have said anything to you. You would have tried to find a way to cure him anyway. Even if it was impossible, because...) ]
... The kind of flower doesn't matter. You give them to people who are... important to you, where I'm from. A land that doesn't exist anymore. [ A soft exhale. ] It's... one of the traditions I still remember, that differs from the one they practice in-- in...
[ They furrow their face, trying to remember, before exhaling again, sharply this time. ]
In Vaugarde. They give them to people they like. But... the only other person who knows that, is Gebura. I never... told Elysium. Because I thought he'd make fun of me.
[ And he would've. Siffrin knows that. But... especially after the past few months, Elysium disappearing without knowing what it meant to be given one...
...
(Ugh.) ]
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[Yes, Elysium would've made fun of him. He was a bastard. A horrible little bird. A thorn in one's side.]
[A flower to mean something so special...yeah, even if he had made fun of it, he would've treasured it, no matter what.]
[And now he's gone.]
That sounds like a lovely gesture, Siffrin. I'm sure he appreciated it.
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[ Siffrin's eye glows as his hand raises out of habit, flipping through the small gallery of images he'd saved. The one he sends to Sampo is of a windowsill, where three things once sat: a somewhat misshapen paper crane, a black cat bearing a white face, socks, and hat all the same, and a similarly monochrome flower perched in a vase facing outside. ]
I'm a traveller, too, after all. So... he probably had some idea, even if, um. It wasn't exactly that. Maybe. Little things... matter, to us.
[ They'd decided to deal with Sampo on behalf of him, after all. They'd done their best to settle tempers and keep everyone in good spirits despite their dislike of the limelight and poor resolution skills. They'd helped to put together a cauldron born of Elysium's mind, even if no one would ever know. There's a lot that could tell that aggravating bird how much he meant to Siffrin, which is embarrassing anyway. ]
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[Travelers attract travelers. The Trailblaze has its followers even in other universes, even if he knows Siffrin would have never heard the name of Akivili. Little things matter - of course they do. He knows it well. From the Trailblazer, from Elysium.]
...You must be lonely too, huh.
[He says, as matter of fact as anything.]
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...
You still are, aren't you. No matter how many friends you make... No matter how close you become to your family members... It isn't like it lasts. People go.
You can't follow.) ]
... I'm used to being alone. I spent most of my time traveling that way. It's still new to have companions, even if I traveled with my family members for a few months before being here.
[ It doesn't erase the decade Siffrin spent on their own, sometimes meeting others from their forgotten island and
what, running from them? The taste of a baked good spoiled because of it -- because it brings him back to that moment, unable to help someone, unable to help himself. ]
You helped. With him, I mean. I saw a lot of faces I wouldn't have, because of you. He wasn't so lonely.
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[To be given some form of "normalcy", in the form of a companion. Someone to dance with him at the end of the world. Someone who would dispose of his body.]
[Was that a blessing, or a curse?]
...All I really was trying to do was make him happy. [A beat.] Same goes for all travelers like you. I mean, I guess...you all deserve to find some form of happiness on such a long journey.
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... One wonders, indeed. ]
... Do you think... someone who makes all of the right choices, and those choices end with someone else smiling... is happy themselves?
[ It seems
both pointed, and not, because Siffrin's merely thinking of his own experiences. Whether they align to Elysium or Sampo himself is none of his concern. ]
Or... do you think that, maybe... it's like snow?
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absolutely a little pointed. His mask slips, just a tad, showing in the twitch of his mouth.]
Like snow? [He's doing his best not to let his voice crack.] Now what do you mean by that?
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[ Simply that. ]
Um, the happiness. Nice... for a while, and pretty to see. You can do a lot with it too. Since it comes from water, it's pretty fluid too.
[ So that happiness can look like a different things to others, maybe even sturdy in its own way... like an igloo, and Siffrin struggles to put it into words as he tips the wine glass further back this time. ]
... No matter how solidly you pack it, or how everlasting it seems... it'll dirty, melt, and disappear. That kind of thing.
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[Now his voice feels much more steady, his tone more serious than maybe he even means it to be.]
Happiness really isn't like that. Not true happiness, anyways. I think when people think happiness is fleeting, that's...not real elation, y'know? They say there's a god out there whose laugh rings alllllll around the universe. THEY'RE still laughing until the end of time, no matter the ups and downs of life.
[He shakes his head - maybe he's a little in denial, who knows? But no. He can't accept fleeting pleasure. He won't have the idea of something that can't last.]
Happiness can never be dirty. Not in my opinion.
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...
You can't say that.)
Instead, Siffrin's smile widens and his eye closes. His tone remains light and soft, even while the thought of his manufactured happiness rots him from the inside. ]
I think you have a wonderful point of view, Sampo. As long as you think like that, you couldn't have made Elysium's life any worse, right?
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[A little bubble of a laugh, popping in the air.]
I probably made it very terrible, indeed.
[He means it.]